my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
