Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
time to smoke my breakfast
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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