he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
