You're completely useless in the revolution.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
