Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
