Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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