And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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