I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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