All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize