There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
