Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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