I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize