guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Everyone says I win the strip club
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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