It's Friday. Sex?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
