I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
