Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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