Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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