can u get pink eye on your cock?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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