Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
