What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
