do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
