Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
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