I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize