hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
