He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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