david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
