He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
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