She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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