3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
