YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
