We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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