Having a random hookup so left but love u
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Randomize
