tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
