Small penises have feelings too.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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