You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
