I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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