Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
