i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
