Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
My ass is underappreciated
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
