STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
