Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
