he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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