also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
