just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
