I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
