# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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