We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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