Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
