Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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