Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
