dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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