is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
home. puking in laundry basket.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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