So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
