is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
