very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
soo... how was my night?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize