closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
