I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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