Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
