He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
