end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
sex in a hospital.. check
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
