no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Can vaginas get frostbite?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
