He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
