eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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