You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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