Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
