Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
