I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
